lala's journal

On my mind !!!
Wow it has been a really long time since I have written that is because Jalen has been so busy all the time ! He is getting really big and bad lol my sister is having a baby now she is also having a boy with Mike Gault ..... funny how we all use to go to school together ! My brother is now back in jail it's such a shame because rose died and he goes to jail my mom has custody of the boys and he also had a baby boy named Caden with krissy . It's really ashame because by the time he gets back out Caden will probably not know him ! There has been a lot of deaths ever since my dad died and even before like my uncle Ed , uncle Danny , Timmy Aleafia's brother ! Mike and I are doing great I been staying in New Jersey at his mom's house it's been okay !!! Jean & Dave are no longer together but they still live in the same house ......good luck with that Jean lol well gonna go for now just wanted to update on some things RIP DADDY !!!

Current Mood: hungry

stressed
Hey it's me agian I know that it's been a while but there has been so many things going on in my life right now!! Jalen is getting so big I can'y believe how fast that he is growing everytime that I look at him I get a feeling of joy inside of my heart . Mike & I are doing great I do believe in a strange kinda way that he loves me !! I miss my dad so much it all feels like a strange dream that I cannot wake up from .

Current Mood: lonely

Happiness & Sadness
Wow it's been a while since I've written but alot of things happen I had my baby named Jalen Samuel Davis . He is cute also he looks just like mike funny huh ? Then sadness comes my dad died five days after I had Jalen my dad never got the chance to meet Jalen buthe saw pics of him before he died . He had pancreas cancer and it killed him too fast I wish that he was here with us I know that he is in a better place and he is not in pain we our hearts break because we miss him so much . Mike has supported me thru everything that has been going on . I'm very greatful for everything that has done for my family & I .

Current Mood: hot

confused
It's been a while sinc eI've posted but now I'm 7 1/2 months pregnant with a boy and I'm very nervous about the whole situation , even though it seems like mike & I have gotten more closer more than ever it still feels strange at times between us because of the fact that he still has not told his mom because most likely she would kick him to the curb and he would have no place to live and my dad won't let him live here . Then there is this one major part of our relationship he cares for me deeply but he does not love me . I know why stay with someone if they don't love you , why have a baby with someone who does not love you . Inside of my heart I feel as though he loves me . Things are so confusing for me right now gotta go peace lori

updating my journal !!!
Hey some things have happened since the last time that I wrote here it goes ,well I moved back with my mom and dad because I was tired of everytime that I turned around I dave was saying some smart ass shit . There are alot of things that are happening like I'm 5 1/2 months pregant and My dad has pancreas cancer which spread thru his stomach and my aunt linda has breast cancer too much shit is going on at one time . I'm soo0o tired I feel like I've been running all day . Besides that all is well and I 'm still with Mike !! Peace and love ,Lori x0xx0xx0x0x0

my space
Hey well I told mike that I need some space I really did not want the space after he agreed to it I know it's for the best but I love him so much that he does see that I try so hard to be paitent with him while he does want to be a "commited relationship" he is a asshole I tell why because for not wanting to be in a relationship he comes to my house after he is done work and all weekend spending time with me just me and I love him for that but the PROBLEM IS NATALIE I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY SHE FOLLOWS MIKE AROUND @ WORK AND WHEN WE WERE @ THE PICNIC THEY WERE MISSING FOR A HALF HOUR BUT IT'S COOL BECAUSE WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND ! I THREW MY CELL PHONE AT HIM IN THE PARK AND OF COURSE I MISSED LOL !!!! BUT I WAS SO MAD BECAUSE OF COURSE NATALIE WANTED TO SIT UP FRONT I'M AN IDIOT !!! PEACE IM BOUT TO CRY !!!

Guess What ?
Hey just updating you on some information first off my friend freeman killed himself by hanging his self in the basement of his mom's house .It was so shocking I did not believe it @ first but then news spread fast it was true . Then jackie & I did not make it to the viewing it was very sad tht day . Sean & I still do not talk to each other mike & I are so so it varies from day to day . I love him but the stuip shit tht he does makes me so mad sometimes I just wanna punch him in the face . George ,Cherie ,nettie , june & I been chillin lately but the past four days I've been just chillin with them . They are not staying @ jeans anymore well hey shit happens! Elmer is no longer our supervisor marvin is b/c he was spreading rumors about mike & I oh yeah and i'm not speaking to kendall b/c he has a big mouth he talks too much shit he is jealous of mike b/c mike gets some from me and kendall been trying for a hott ass minute oh well your a old head no thnks !!! I'm cool ! well tht's all for now peace LORI

Current Mood: indescribable

Hey well where should I start off @ First of all mike came over yesterday which was good but then I had to take the bus home because jackie was busy with her daughter . Well anyways mike got here before I did and went thru my shit (journals) he told robinette to come tell me that he read every journal that I had which made me pissed off because who the fuck is he to go thru my personal shit ? I do not give a fuck if it was out in the open anyways who the fuck is he to read it without my permission. Then he is going to hold the shit that he read agianst me and tell me that I'm sneaky & shit that I had fucked sean more than one time when he came after eight months still asking me for money and shit . He also read that the nite that sean was over he was calling me on my cell phone then he called the house phone jean answered then gave the phone to me I talked on the phone with him for a few minutes in the bathroom because I did not want sean waking up and catching me on the phone with mike . Mike also read about me & melvin he was like oh that's fucked up I have not fucked dana since august and blah blah I was oh okay now I see how shit went down it's cool I don't even care !!!!!! I also know that he wnats the puerto rican girl(Julia) who works in seniors @ work . I told jackie to go get mike's phone so she can show my how to look @ the pics and videos don't you know he had a video of this chic julia @ kfc . He also erased all the pics of me & the video that he had on there of me. He told me before that he was not fucking with dana anymore and saying all kinds of dumb shit now I see what the fuck went down when I was out on injury leave oh well fuck that bitch

Current Mood: high

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT !!!
OH MY GOD !!! Sean stopped by here today when I was smoking a blunt with lil paul in his van ! When Jean told me I did not believe her until dave told me , I was shaking & shit I felt like I was about to faint !! tlk 2 ya later

I'm pregnant
Well I don't know where to start off two days ago I found out that I'm pregnant by mike and I told him he is not happy at all about this and the fact that I want to keep it he was like I told you that I did not want anymore kids right now and all this other shit that I did not want to hear . So I guess that makes me a single mother and guess what I don't care because I will try my best to be a mother& father to my baby !!!! I know that I will be a good mother to my baby teach it things that nobody ever taught me give it things that I didn't have share my knowledge of things with it be here for it when it's pussy as father won't be . God has blessed me with this child for a reason in my heart I did not think that I could have children maybe god seen a good man in mike maybe he will change his mind and be here instead of running away !! I have this pain in my heart just thinking that my baby will not have a father but some things happen for a reason . well there is a lot to think about before my baby comes so god bless my baby and myself god thank you for blessing me !!! LOVE, LORI X0X0

Current Mood: surprised

pary nite
Hey it's me agian and were having a little party here and I've been having some fun with Mike , Joana ,Jean , Dave , Laurie , becca , brandy ! Were drinking and smoking weed it's been chillin ass music , Dancing joking, laughing ! You will never guess what happen today first off melvin stopped around and then angel called me the best of all is that gringo came around and asked me to go to california with him but how would I find a job so fast. When I go out there with me I asked him if he was going to support me he was " yes only if I have it .I cannot risk being out there with no job , no money saved , no car , oh no sorry papi! Then we stared talking to laurie about our past and our sex life ,Laurie and I was just talking to her about that the other day it's crazy how that happens he look's so sexy with his hair cut ummm god you just don't know what it was hittin for ! I told Laurie that Gringo & I had sex like he was trying to give me a baby he turns around and say's I was ! OMG do you know how I felt at that moment geez man I didn't believe this shit then he asked me when him & I were going to get married ! Wow too much at one time then I was on the phone with mike talking about the "FAKE" abortion ! He still insist that he is going to give the hundred to me next week !Which is great b/c it's my mom's b-day & it's father's day so I hope so well for now peace Lori

Current Mood: drunk
Current Music: offspring

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something new
Hey I'm back things are still kinda the same laurie has been down here for like two months and shit we been having fun together ! I'm now seeing a guy that I met riding down sixth st with jackie his name is angel and he is so sweet to me and affectionate so far so good . He is telling me that he is starting to catch feelings for me and that he wants to have a future with me and for me to be his baby forever that's crazy right and we just started going out on the 12th of april I already met his mom, sister , cousin and uncle ! More then with sean yeah well gotta go peace lori

headaches !
Hey it's me writing to let ya know some of the things that have been going on , no I 'm still not over sean but I 've been working on that .I been told that a broken heart needs time to heal maybe I should have seen things ending between sean & I the 20th would have made 2 yrs for us but it is okay . I got my period last nite and then I started my birth control , Mike Davis is still aroundn I meet some other dude named marcus he is so sexy or at least I believe so it does not matter what others think b/c I'm sure that thier man is no prize !!!! Lately I've been not giving a fuck about some small stupid shit like this he said she said shit that has been going on around this house !! Today I had an okay day just a little stressfull(lol) hey that's the way it goes most of the time so oh well !! Jackie is still seeing eli & nettie and kevin are living at steph's oh well I warned them about him so it's thier own fault when shit goes missing ! Last weekend steph , kobel ,me & bubba went down cape may and had a whole bunch of fun heheheheh . Yes bubba tried to get some but hey who wouldn't shiiiiittttt wht ya don't know how good it is ask about me !!!! ~> well peace LORI

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: n/a

having fun in cape may
Hey I just got back from a weekend at cape may I went with steph ,kobel & bubba We had so much fun together we got drunk and everything bubba tried to have his way with me but I was not going for it even though I was tempted haha no but he is a nice guy who has never disrespected me in any kinda way he's cute and sexy for a white guy but I do not think anything would ever pop off like that it's not that i'm trying to rush into a relationship .I miss sean I cannot believe that he said tht shit tht after all the shit I put him trough he got some nerve I need some of his dick though ahahahahahaha well peace out Lori x0x0x0x0x

Current Mood: content

Happy St.patty's day !
Well today is st.patty's day and it's one fucked up day today kevin seen sean on the el and I told kevin to put sean on the phone and sean would not get on the phone he said he is done with me b/c of all the shit I put him through come on now with this shit what about all the shit he put me through ! He would be gone for three months then come back and then everything would be fine I do not understand how someone can be so cruel to me when I turned my back on my family & friends for him . NOW MY HEART IS TRULY BROKEN ! This world is truly fucked up ! ~> LORI

Current Mood: angry

one hell of a day
Hey it's me once agian well today I did not go to work b/c I had the runs . I was basically up all nite shitting lol . Mike came over today to see me & to get some of course hahah today actually went by pretty fast thnkgod !! Laurie was here all weekend we had fun ! well hate to cut ya short but it's time for bed peace lori

Current Mood: calm

aggravated
Okay today I'm in a bad mood b/c people talk shit and piss me off and also if people have shit to say I wish they would tell me instead holding shit in . I still did not hear from sean and sometimes I pretend tht I don't care when I do and every second of each day I think of him . I really wanna hear his voice it makes me sad not being able to speak to him and ask him what happen and why did he just disappeared like that . Maybe one day I 'll take a ride out to his house just maybe he will be there I doubt it but hey can't a girl wish for once ! Work is okay for now let's see how that is later on in the week . Can you imagine lying in the bed tht you made love with someone who just broke your heart for no reason , can you imagine sleeping in the room and thinking about all those memories that you shared together , well I can and it's so bad sometimes I wish tht I could be invisible so tht I can see wht he is thinking when he is not with me maybe to see if he is with someone else even though it may hurt it could help me move on with my own life . Most of the time I'm sad & depressed and when people ask me wht's the matter I say nothing b/c I really don't want make people feel obligated to make me feel better so this goes for whomever . If any ever feels like they are obligated to be my friend or to talk to me about my problems please talk to me about it b/c you do not have to feel as though you have to be my friend you can just go about your bussiness . I can handle it . Many of things have changed in my life and mostly it has to do with friends & family they seem like they are very distant and moody for no apparent reason so basically this goes to show tht I really don't give a fuck anymore !!!! Take this entry as you want but I know how I feel & this will never change !!! ~> peace , LORI

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: someone to hold

bullshit
Hey well let me tell ya wht's going on ! First off I still did not hear from sean and the more tht I think about it the more it hurts .Yeah well let me tell ya how cheri came to me about george and me about some shit tht wht's going on with him and me yada , yada ,yada Let me tell ya how I could not believe tht shit o0o I'm still mad as shit .Steph & kobel moved back dwn here it's cool .Laurie stayed here all weekend we had fun !! I did not have work today b/c of the snow . Jean is doing great and the kids are getting so big . I'm not even sweating tht small shit so0o holla ~> LORI

Current Mood: aggravated

sick
Today I played hookey from work but not really B/c I'm sick and I feel like shit .I still have not seen sean I wonder what he is up to ????? I miss my baby but I think that maybe we should have some time apart ? I think it maybe for the best ! Yes that is still my baby and all but shit I tired of playing the dummy role in this fucked relationship if that's what ya call it ! Stephanie & kobel are moving back down the hood crazy huh ? Yeah well it's tax time and I'm hardly getting shit outta it so Plus I owe jean like five hundred dollars for the tools that kevin stoled from here and nettie won't help pay it back so anyways yeah i'm gonna go for now. Peace , LILSWEETNESS XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXXOXOOX

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: metal

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